I've been a little down and frustrated lately about my current life situation. It's frustrating to feel "stuck" and not know what the future holds, especially when treatments keep changing, how I feel keeps changing, the length of my hair keeps changing... :) I try to be optimistic, but that can be draining too. A friend said my life right now is like the movie, "Groundhog's Day", where every day is the same and a way out seems impossible.
I don't like to give up, so I really started thinking about how much better I am now than I was a year ago. I think I block it out, but I was really sick a year ago. I had double vision, had to use a walker, had seizures, and couldn't even tolerate going to a restaurant for fear that something would happen.
I started wondering what the dates where for that time and as it turns out, I had my surgery where they took out the head port exactly one year ago tomorrow. It's funny how God brings these things to mind! The night before my surgery last year, I prayed that God would be with the doctors, that it will be an easy surgery, that I would remember that God is in control and that I would have faith. The surgery was a success and now I can see what a miracle it is that I had such a recovery.
Even though I'm still going through chemo and everything, I honestly can't believe how many little miracles have happened me. I thank you for all of your prayers, which have really protected and strengthened me.
P.S. Today was my first day off my diet restriction. I don't think diet coke has ever tasted this good!!